did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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