dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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