just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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