Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize