remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
