Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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