I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
