i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
