3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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