Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
