Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
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