he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Your penis caused this!
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