Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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