Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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