UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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