I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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