At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
