And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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