roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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