I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize