My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
