**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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