thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
