i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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