escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I need to align my fucking chakras
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
