In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
