Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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