There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i think im in europe. pls send help
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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