The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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