My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
