Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
