I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
