I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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