69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
