your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
