I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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