Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize