Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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