So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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