my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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