omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
