i already hear my dad disowning me
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
