u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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