Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to make out with him forever
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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