i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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