I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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