I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
