I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
