remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
