she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize