there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
