it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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