What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
