I wanna passion pit in your ass
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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