its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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