D3 body, D1 cock
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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