Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
