She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize