I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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