Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
