What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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