That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
